Character: Patrick

40ish, semi-employed.

love was such an easy game to play

The Flip Side of Acting Naturally

love was such an easy game to play

Paddy: The day before today everything was fine. My worries were all off in the distance Paddy: But now it seems like they not only brought their little going to grandma’s backpacks, but have their pillows, blankets, furniture, and booze Paddy: It all … Read More

It's probably the straightest I've ever been able to get him to stand

Like a Horse… Saddle

It's probably the straightest I've ever been able to get him to stand

Paddy: So this is where you’ve been hiding Patrick: I’m not sure I would call it hiding Paddy: It looks like you robbed a Habitat Store Patrick: Why don’t you stop hanging out in the doorway and give me a hand Paddy: noooo. Last time … Read More

In reality, it's the earth that's tilted

Right, a little more to the left

In reality, it's the earth that's tilted

Paddy: I think it’s tilted Patrick: You’re crooked Paddy: True, but you’re a fucking emotional mess Patrick: You’re leaning to the right Paddy: I have never in my entire life lean’d…You know the right is the whole reason I … Oh I see. Never mind

No shoes, no shirts, no service. OK, we're good.

Always Optional

No shoes, no shirts, no service. OK, we're good.

Paddy: You know, if you were to just make all the comics like this, there would be no need to wear pants Patrick: Has that ever stopped you before? Paddy: I suppose not Patrick: If I don’t make more comics like this, will it … Read More

Mah Nà Mah Nà

It’s time to put on makeup…

Mah Nà Mah Nà

Paddy: I’m not so sure about this set up Patrick: It will be fine. If I don’t work on the computer at the same time, it won’t aggravate anything Paddy: Well sure that, but what about other things? Patrick: Such as? Paddy: Doesn’t it make … Read More

I like how Alexa takes your safety into consideration offers the 8" as large when Amazon Clearly has much larger, longer, & girthier, items available, but knows I've never ordered that type of item before and should take it easy the first time.

Alexa is just Amazon for SUDO

I like how Alexa takes your safety into consideration offers the 8" as large when Amazon Clearly has much larger, longer, & girthier, items available, but knows I've never ordered that type of item before and should take it easy the first time.

10 minutes to come up with the basic script. 4 hours to research and find the closest possible open source font to the amazon logo only to find that it is freely available on their website in their developer tools … Read More

There really is a difference between using a feather, versus using a whole chicken

My Name is Brinjal Aubergine

There really is a difference between using a feather, versus using a whole chicken

Paddy: …and that’s when I discovered that the beater bar wasn’t what I thought it was, it’s really more of a roller with a brush Narrator: 30 minutes later Paddy: so really you have to leave a little room for air flow or … Read More

How does one combine a fleshlight and a TV remote?

Love…In the afternoon

How does one combine a fleshlight and a TV remote?

I’m nearly out of photos, maybe a month or two or three left. Then I’ll have to get around to actually repairing one of the models, or something. On another note, I have no idea how I went from writing … Read More

Maybe we should just follow the law and keep our promise to the nations that we pushed there in the first place.

OH what a beautiful morning

Maybe we should just follow the law and keep our promise to the nations that we pushed there in the first place.

Paddy: I don’t get why you wanted to recess the TV into the wall in the first place. I thought the whole idea was to make this room easier to deal with and help reduce stress Paddy: Opening up the wall … Read More

Dust. Dust everywhere. White footprints all through the house. Weird chalk snot for the next month every time you blow your nose

You Ruinsed It!

Dust. Dust everywhere. White footprints all through the house. Weird chalk snot for the next month every time you blow your nose

It’s true. My tape and mud shills are not the greatest. They’re certainly gotten better over the years, but it is a skill I’d rather not have needed to develop.  The nice thing is since the move to T-Town, I … Read More