Did any one else notice that he has a rather large knife for spreading peanut butter? Sure it's a nice knife, in fact it's my favorite, but it's still over kill for peanut butter. Even crunchy peanut butter.

Closer to the bone, the sweeter is the meat…

This joke is at my wife’s expense. The less I say about that the better.


Patrick: The meds are in the fridge.
Paddy: OK, So I’m thinking eggs and mutton, a little rice…
Patrick: Um, no. She has special vet food in the…Are you wearing my boxers?
Paddy: yes.
Dog: Food?
rude licking noises throughout conversation
Patrick: Why are you wearing my underwear?
Paddy: It gets cold downstairs at night.
Patrick: You were wearing a suit.
Paddy: You expect me to stay dressed up for you all the time? I’m not that kind of guy.
Dog: Food?
Patrick: About the boxers?
Paddy: The dog spilled her beer on me so the cat brought me these out of the laundry.
Patrick: the cat…
Paddy: Sure the dog wasn’t in any shape to help!
Dog: Food?
Paddy: Stop tasting me!
final quiet licking thup