I'm not going because of "The incident"

Going to be a long day

I remember as a child a lot more plastic covered furniture than I see nowadays. I’m fairly certain that it’s because there are fabric protectors like Scotch Guard and that furniture has become a mainly toss it away item, but I like to think that there were too many suburban housewives butchering their abusive spouses and hiding the bodies under the plastic in the cushions. Sadly, it also isn’t because we’ve run out of abusive husbands, but because the furniture plastic industry was run by those same men; who really were not all that bright and thought, if we stop making plastic covers, they’ll stop killing us off.


Paddy: So where are we going again?
Wife: I need a new pair of tennis shoes
Paddy: but you don’t play tennis
Wife: running shoes, sneakers, trainers
Paddy: And I’m going with you why again?
Wife: Because you told Mr. Rubenbottom that his ass looks like it used to be wrapped in plastic in somebody’s basement with a matching Davenport and butt filled ashtray stand
Paddy: Oh, yeah. That’s right