Haaaaaaands across the water. Water. Haaaaaaannds across the sky...

We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert

Haaaaaaands across the water. Water. Haaaaaaannds across the sky...

I’m already having issues with the fourth distal phalanx. It keeps coming detached. It reminds my of that Kaiju from Ultraman that launched it’s fingertips. At least I think it was Ultraman, it’s probably been 30 years since I saw … Read More

He's been flirting with the Viktor at the Russian bride corporate office for months.

Cold or hot, SPAM hits the spot

He's been flirting with the Viktor at the Russian bride corporate office for months.

Today’s comic is sponsored by SPAM, the mystery meat. Because nothing says delicious like Spam and Banana Fritters with asparagus.   Narrator: Whatcha doing? Paddy: Catching up on fan email Narrator: How do You have fan mail? We barely have any readership Paddy: HA! Shows … Read More

Row row row your boat kind of takes on a whole new meaning...

Crisis management

Row row row your boat kind of takes on a whole new meaning...

It’s come to my attention that this one may need some explaining. Three men in a boat is a travel documentary put on the BBC. Basically Dara Ó Briain, Rory McGrath, and Griff Rhys Jones travel around in a boat of … Read More

more like the six dollar value menu man.

A man barely alive…

more like the six dollar value menu man.

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology…” And this about sums up my week. I made it through a lot of hard work, emotional stress, and challenges only to have life give me the finger and the parts all … Read More

I just wish he'd stop singing the happy happy poop poop song

Steaming pile of bullshit

I just wish he'd stop singing the happy happy poop poop song

You know how hard it is to make bullshit that is really all just cliche sound profound and deep? This took a whole 20 minutes! That’s 20 whole minutes of my life I’ll never get back. All for a toilet gag … Read More

Best Fairy Godmother EVHAR!

Fairy Tales Can Come True…

Best Fairy Godmother EVHAR!

Happy Halloween If I had planned properly, I would’ve run a fairy good pun contest, but I didn’t plan properly.   Paddy: I’m Fairy certain those kids intend to egg the house Wife: Patrick’s hiding in the pumpkin pile with the hose … Read More

More importantly, where did he get that wonderful blouse?

Wedgie free

More importantly, where did he get that wonderful blouse?

If someone were to get me a blond wig and some balloons I could even reenact the Hilton sex tapes.   Paddy: So Halloween is next weekend and… Patrick: You don’t have any… Paddy: Idea. No I don’t Paddy: Last year was a bit … Read More

Not a meatball among them

You’ve been…THUNDERSTRUCK!

Not a meatball among them

For those with Cats, not in the Pacific Northwest I give you Matanuska Thunderfuck. Wait, no. Matanuska Thunderstruck   low idling cat noises in background Narrator: Another Comic? Paddy: Recipes. I dumped a bag of oregano on meself and the floor Narrator: How … Read More

"Birate Hunter!"

Stormy Seas

"Birate Hunter!"

Pirates may be the best adult movie ever. It’s good enough for them to have created an R rated version, as well well as an R rated sequel. I would say that it makes a really decent bad movie.   … Read More

One Night the cat kept us up all night with his howling and walking all over us. So of course the next day we woke him up every chance we got. WAKE UP KITTY!

A Wake?

One Night the cat kept us up all night with his howling and walking all over us. So of course the next day we woke him up every chance we got. WAKE UP KITTY!

Growing up, one of my uncles while at a wake once joked that the only difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral is one less person. I like this idea. Then again, I’m also fond of “Finnegans Wake” … Read More