Character: Patrick

40ish, semi-employed.

I think it's cute how after all these decades, he still thinks it's neat to have the tree INSIDE the house.

So this is Christmas…

I think it's cute how after all these decades, he still thinks it's neat to have the tree INSIDE the house.

Happy Holidays everyone. Going to schedule this to post a day earlier than usual so that it’s actually up on Christmas Eve, and take Monday off.   Paddy: Good mornin’ Happy Christmas. How’s the noggin’? Patrick: Thanks. I can feel my heart … Read More

"Got lost in his own museum, eh?"

Riding off into the sunset

"Got lost in his own museum, eh?"

So the road trip is done. It took 9 months to run a simple errand and we failed miserably. That is not meant to be ominous foretelling. We are far to old for that crap. We still need to get … Read More

Why the fuck do I suddenly have 4 pips on my neck?

Where no man has gone before

Why the fuck do I suddenly have 4 pips on my neck?

The under pass that runs under the Washington Convention Center in Seattle is really long. I think it really ceases to be an underpass and technically becomes a tunnel but since it wasn’t dug out it’s an underpass. To celebrate … Read More

and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in after internalizing everything for a few hours to make sure that I'm not over reacting and being logical about the situation.

Tea Timer

and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in after internalizing everything for a few hours to make sure that I'm not over reacting and being logical about the situation.

It’s going to be a long drive home.   Narrator: Eighteen hours, and a lift from a neighbor late… SFX: Wife takes in a deep breath Narrator: …ter, oh shit. Here it comes… SFX: Wife very very slowly let out previous breath Paddy: I’m sorry … Read More

AT&T Free Msg: Reply OH FUCK to learn how to get unlimited...

Roaming charges may apply

AT&T Free Msg: Reply OH FUCK to learn how to get unlimited...

So it apparently takes eight months to go out to get Pizza, get your housemate beat up by homophobic ass hats, learn to drive, get lost, end up 40 miles away… in another city, and much, much more importantly, neglect … Read More

It's actually a chain of Massage parlors

You were always on my mind

It's actually a chain of Massage parlors

As a child I was very confused by the term “red light district”. I think this was mainly because they said it was by my Grandparents house and I knew that there was a single blinking red light at a … Read More

Also conveniently located in the area is Amazon, for all your online shopping needs

Noisy Cricket

Also conveniently located in the area is Amazon, for all your online shopping needs

Narrator: You’re going to see a lot of people suddenly panicking and crossing and weaving back and forth in a bit Paddy: WHAT?! Narrator: Just panic to the left, you’ll be alright Paddy: Oh, it’s an exit. why didn’t you just say so? Narrator: I … Read More

You say the hatch shouldn't open when the vehicle is in motion? HA! Shows what you know! Nothing fucking works right on this van!

On-Star. May I help you?

You say the hatch shouldn't open when the vehicle is in motion? HA! Shows what you know! Nothing fucking works right on this van!

Back to our regularly scheduled mishap.   Paddy: I admit, I am in serious need of assistance Narrator: are you trying to push a help button? sfx: Sound a latch release and a motor running Paddy: Maybe? Narrator: you don’t have that Narrator: Now the rear … Read More

It's like that episode in where they're stuck in a time loop. That doesn't really narrow it down much, does it.

Staaar Trekkin, Across the Universe

It's like that episode in where they're stuck in a time loop. That doesn't really narrow it down much, does it.

We used to do that as children. My father would accelerate or take a corner a little quicker than he should, and we would quickly lean forward. I also remember sitting backward in the back of an Oldsmobile Station wagon … Read More

In one mile, use the far left lane to turn right, then keep left to go straight onto I-75

Albuquerque

In one mile, use the far left lane to turn right, then keep left to go straight onto I-75

I’ve been trying to get as many landmarks on the drive as possible. For those not local to the Tacoma area, you’re going to want a map. It’s hopefully needless to say that he’s way off course. By quite a … Read More